How you know you're Nurse!!!
Your finger has been places you never thought possible.
You have seen more penises than any prostitute.
You would like to meet the inventor of the buzzer some night in a dark alley.
Your sense of humour gets more warped each year.
Almost everything can seem humorous.....Eventually.
You know the smell of different diarrhoea and can identify it.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication thy are dispensing than they know.
You check the caller I.D. on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.
Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
You live by the motto 'To be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult'.
You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your co-worker and to call if they need help.
You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
You can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce.
Your favourite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
Everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
You want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with the doctors.
Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in the grocery waiting lines.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers for fear they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
That's how you know you're a NURSE!!!